The kids' first day back at school we woke up to snow. I told my Universal travel buddies it looked like Hogsmeade out there. I was grateful for the sun and warmth we got to enjoy before we came home and even for my sunburn to help keep me warm -- until I laid down on the reformer at Pilates class. The only place I was sunburned was the area in between my shoulders and neck & that is where the shoulder pads hit. Ha! My sunburn at class wasn’t the only mistake of the day. Hubby took Danny and P to basketball practice and -- got a flat tire due to a pot hole -- with his new car. I ended up getting the boys while Hubby waited on a tow truck. It ended up being good timing because I could go get him from the tire shop after dropping the boys off at home and then I took Hubby back first thing in the morning before we both went to work. So he has new tires done and taken care of. I suppose it would have happened eventually.
Here is the reason why I haven’t updated the blog recently. Our first Tuesday afternoon since spring break an all hands meeting was held at the middle school. It was that afternoon that my coworkers told me our art teacher’s son had died suddenly the night before. I will not attempt to explain how devastating this is for their family because I don't have the words... and I don't want to diminish it... so I can only tell you what it was like for my family. We knew him. He went to preschool with my youngest. He had been to some of her birthday parties. His sister is one of Natalie's very best friends. We had already invited her to Natalie's next party. One of the neatest families you could think of. He was the only son. His loss put a huge hole in their family for mom, dad, big sister, and twin sister. I was pretty much in shock and one of my coworkers offered to drive me home. I said I could make it but ended up walking the dog before I felt like I could go in the house. As I was walking Maisie, Kate called me to see if I had heard the news. She had told Michelle but Michelle couldn't believe her at first. I told Danny on his way home from baseball practice so that he would know why there was a sub in art class the next morning. A message was sent out to all the elementary school families later that day. We knew we had to tell Natalie before she went to school on Wednesday. We thought about keeping her home but decided it would be best for her to be with her friends. My 13 year olds and I discussed the best way to tell her. We decided to tell her after Hubby came home from work and while Kate was at volleyball practice so that it wouldn't be too close to bedtime. Danny decided that since he had teased Natalie a lot about riding huge roller coasters at Universal, he would leave the room so that she felt no pressure to be tough. After Natalie was finished playing with neighborhood friends Danny told her he loved her and went upstairs. We sat her between Hubby and Michelle on the sofa. I was given the job of telling her the news. That was heartbreaking, to make my youngest child cry for a good long time with the news held in my words. 9 years old is way too young to die. And this boy was such a neat kid. I must say I am super proud of how Natalie's siblings came together to comfort her during those next fews days and weeks. For example, Kate brought home a cupcake from that practice since it was her coach's birthday. I was once again grateful that I only worked every other day so that I could go visit my grieving friend with flowers and gift cards and chocolates Michelle helped me purchase the night before. I went because a friend called me and told me I could since our daughters were such good friends. It was so humbling to hear that her daughter wanted my daughter to know what happened. And the monumental effort of our community to comfort was witnessed in full force. I am amazed by all I saw happen and the things people thought to take care of immediately. This was especially evident at the funeral, but I will talk about that part later.
Somehow school and appointments and sports carried on even though a huge weight of grief seemed to hang over our entire part of town. Danny got his top braces put on and Natalie had her first softball practice of the season. She is so happy to be on a team with A again and this year their friend M is beginning to play. Having softball helped give Natalie something to look forward too. We also got the news that she was almost done with phase one of her braces, much to our delight. Natalie's school also had a special visitor you can see pictured below.
I got to watch Danny's first scrimmages during the week and Hubby got to take him to Fort Morgan on Saturday for their first tournament of the season. It was a long day -- they left at 5:45am and didn't get back until after 10pm -- with lots of down time between their three games (obviously). What an April Fool's Day trick!
I'm getting out of order. Back to Friday. Natalie had been having a hard time sleeping but it got better after M's mom hosted a play date at her house for these three wonderful friends. Her mom even went out and bought brand new Lego sets for the occasion. I am so grateful and impressed by the unmatched love I have seen shown in our part of the world.
While Natalie was at her hangout, Hubby and I got to attend an Orange Theory event together with a '90s theme. Turns out I could hold my own there and had more fun than I thought I would but he didn't get me to sign up for a membership. lol. Oh, and side ponytails are a blast when you're doing side to side jumps in between 1,000 meters on the rowing machine.
Here is a picture of our last bit of snow that melted on April Fool's Day. I'm pretty sure my front yard hadn't been snow free since December. A lot of people wouldn't think anything of that but where we live it is rare to have snow on the ground for months at a time. And it didn't stay snow free for long!
April Fool's Day also meant Michelle had another dance competition, this time getting a ride there with her friend, Z. Natalie and I went and watched hours of dancing and brought the girls home but due to me missing an exit and another exit being closed we arrived 15 minutes after we planned to -- which was still 45 minutes ahead of the official competition scheduled time -- and parked the car right when Michelle was performing. I was so very sad but Michelle reminded me that I have seen this routine before and will have chances to see it again. She truly is a remarkable teenager. Turns out she is mega good at puzzles too. This one would have driven me to madness but it was just fine for her.
After attending the Palm Sunday service I was so happy to root for the University of Iowa women's basketball team as they tried to win this year's national championship. LSU won the day but it was fun to cheer on the Hawkeyes like I used to do in person when I lived in Iowa City. Happy memories.
Monday I was kind of a wreck. Once again, my feelings are only a minuscule teeny tiny fraction of what our friends are going through but I can only tell you our story. Sunday night a friend called telling me that the funeral would be Tuesday morning. Somehow I could handle that when it was the day after tomorrow but Monday morning made the loss so much more real to me. I looked through photos I had to send to the friend putting together the slideshow. I held it together as I got Natalie off to school but broke down at work. One coworker let me cry on their shoulder while another made me herbal tea and another talked to me when I was done crying. I am so darn lucky to work with the people I do. They let me fall apart and then they put me back together again so that we all could continue to help the special needs children in our care. That night Michelle and I went funeral clothes shopping at Kohl's and Target and then after dinner Hubby took Michelle and Natalie to Ross to find Michelle a lovely orange dress (Y's favorite color) and a shirt to go with the skirt we had bought for Natalie. It was so surreal to go funeral shopping for my youngest children. (Kate and Danny, although they love the family, especially their art teacher, chose to go to school instead of attending the funeral. I think it was easier for them that way.)
Tuesday morning we woke up to snow once again. It made me cry because I wondered how it would affect Y's funeral. Having awful weather seemed fitting to me since this funeral was going to be so hard because it was such a reminder of how unfair life is. Yes, it was hard. So hard. And there were so so so many tears. I have never seen so many children at a celebration of life. Almost every child from their 4th grade class was in attendance. I already really liked their neighbors, C & K but my admiration of them went sky high (it was already really high) as I saw K conduct and talked to C. Mom and Dad's letters addressed to Y made me feel like I could literally feel my heart crack open. I wished I could take it all away. I wished I could time travel and prevent this somehow. Such good people. Such devastation. But also so so so much love. You could tell that entire service was powered by love. Love from family, friends, neighbors and their school communities. Seldom have I seen love in action more than I did that day. For that, it was a thing of beauty. And a testament to how wonderful this boy and his family are. I wanted to include a part of the email Natalie's teacher sent out. I have put *where I deleted the rest of the names for privacy sake. Every time I read it I begin to cry again. Did I tell you their teacher brought some of the children there whose parents couldn't take them and spoke at the service? As though I didn't think she was one of the best teachers on earth already.
"Y* was an amazing human. I have met few adults as self assured and aware as he was. Y* was Y* to the core. Social pressure wasn't a thing that phased him. He knew who he was, how to advocate for himself, ask questions, throw witty quips and be the very best friend to Z*. He was loved very much. By you, your family, friends and teachers. He was a wonderful human who will be remembered not for his passing but for the quirky light he brought to the world."
I wanted to end the post on a note of hope. Two days after the funeral I got to see much smiling, happy screams, jumping up and down and hugs with A arrived at her first school event in over a week. It was time for the annual elementary grade level music program held at the middle school. They were overjoyed to have her back with them. All the 4th graders had been given buttons to wear memorializing their friend and the program was dedicated to him. It was yet more evidence of the extreme love this community is capable of sharing and hope for happiness to remain even though sadness has been our default emotion.
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