Many of you know my middle daughter’s name and would like to acknowledge there are many wonderful women who share her name. One of them is someone I hired to change my life and she did. I was listening to a life coach podcast and the thought occurred to me to look for a life coach that specialized in adoption and I am so glad I did. I found someone absolutely perfect for our family. Michelle knows both what it is like to be adopted and what it is like to raise both biological and adopted children. She is full of warmth, light and wisdom. One thing I really appreciated about her was the lovely emails she sent to me after each session. They were another wonderful way to remind me of what I wanted to focus on in the coming week. Of many things, she helped me find that I treated my adopted children as though they had been handed the short end of the stick for the way their life story began. Not only was that untrue, but it had affected the way I treated them. If you feel sorry for someone you show up for them in a different way than you would with other children. Even if I am saying the same words, they come out with a different tone and kids can pick up on that. As I have made the decision to not treat them as victims, more confidence has come to me in my decisions and in their ability to play a good game with the hand they have been dealt. Just because their cards are different doesn’t mean they are worse. Mind blown. Michelle also encouraged me to finish Kate's baby book once and for all. I had pillaged the book in order to put pictures in frames and now those photos are back in the book. It was great for me to look on those times and see the words I had written under pictures such as talking about how much joy I felt the first time Kate laughed. Michelle also encouraged me to take hope to the next step and simply decide how I want to behave in certain situations. I actually have been acting so calm lately Kate yelled at me and told me I don't care anymore. Well, turns out you can care just as much and not raise your voice. I feel like we've unlocked a secret to the universe there.
Michelle reminded me that as mothers we offer gifts to our children but they have the choice whether or not to accept those gifts. I had about lost my mind trying to make our pandemic Easter special and full of good memories. She reminded me that I care enough to plan but that I don’t NEED my plans to be fulfilled. We spoke of all the care that went into planning our spring break trip and that we were all okay without it. Disappointed, yes, but okay. The miracle is what happened next. Michelle reminded me of when I served as a full time missionary I offered up my precious testimony every day and sometimes it was accepted and sometimes --most of the time -- it was rejected. Now, I can offer precious things to my children without being upset if they reject it. I offer it up with love by channeling Baijiemei. That week my homework (she calls it reflection) was to go through my mission box, especially my journals, and find that piece of Sarah that could offer things with unconditional love. The very first journal entry I found (six months into my mission) talked about how my mom made me the journal and I felt like missionaries got a glimpse into the sacrifice mothers make and their unconditional love. It was perfect. After looking through items that hadn’t seen the light of day in years, I received the news that Margaret Rose Phipps, our mission president’s wife, died at the age of 82. In my mind they were still in their 60s and I hadn’t seen them since a mission reunion October 2004. So many emotions and memories were brought forth. Almost 100 missionaries that served from 2000-2003 were together in a Messenger group chat sharing stories of Sister Phipps (and even a moon cake recipe) and sharing how glad they were to serve missions in Taiwan. On May 3rd I had the privilege of watching her funeral taking place in Australia while I sat at home. Such lovely words were shared to celebrate the life of a beloved daughter, sister, farm girl, primary school teacher, wife, mother, grandmother and someone who was willing to make great sacrifices to follow the will of the Lord. The service was simply inspiring and when President Phipps stood up to read a letter he wrote to his departed wife, I instantly recognized his voice as one to pay attention to 17 years after I had last heard him speak from a pulpit. It reminded me of the scripture (John 10:27) and I was so touched when I saw an all mission photo taken in 2002 as part of the slideshow during the event. I remember that day so well. The people I met in Taiwan still bless my life today. ❤️to her family and to 🇹🇼! I am so tremendously grateful for how life turns out just the way it is supposed to and how many tender mercies have been shown to me in the last month and half a year and really my entire life. When we have the eyes to see the blessings of the Lord, the days are so much better.
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