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My Greatest Blessing

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By Sarah
There can be very short periods of time that change you as a person and influence you every single day.

Yesterday I was thinking about... well, what day it was... & what happened in NYC 7 years ago.  I was headed to the airport (so I could become a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the next day) when I heard the news.

Today is the 7th anniversary of me entering the Missionary Training Center.  I was lucky enough to have a baby shower at my house for a dear friend.  During our par-tay we came upon the topic of how old we all were.  One of the women is turning 30 next month & was talking about how 30 is the new 20.  I replied that I felt sooo much younger when I was 20 then I do as a new 28-year-old.  She responded that she felt better now than she did at 20.  My extreme surprise led her do ask, "Why do you think that is?"

Oh, I know exactly what the change was!  My mission!  Our conversation was long b/c she had never met someone who had served a LDS mission before, but one question struck me:  she asked how I didn't come back "jaded" after my mission.  I have never encountered that type of question before, probably b/c when most people learn I've lived in Taiwan ask me about culture instead of asking about how it affected me.  I can tell you many different reasons why I love Taiwan, but how did being a full-time volunteer for so long change me?  Well, to tell the truth, I am less social.  I'm much more protective of 'family time.'  I realize there is a need for balance in life and what my own personal needs are.  But what is harder to describe is who I am now.  Before my mission I thought I was 'da bomb.  I felt like I had a strong testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ, God's plan for us, and what I should do with my life.  I thought I was a good person.  

While in Taiwan, I realized those were things that I really just pretended on some level.  My testimony was great... until the poop hit the fan.  It was easy for me to love others... until I had no one to love me back.  (It's pretty tough to realize you're 21 & pretty much as immature as a 21-year-old can get.)  In the past 7 years Dan & I have had to put up with a lot of stuff happening to us that wasn't in our control, but one thing has never failed me: my Savior, my faith in God's plan for us, and who I am.  I've never needed to pretend again or hope that I could believe something.  To me, my mission has brought me most of my greatest blessings, both big and small.  I know that nothing, yes nothing, will be harder for me to handle than my mission because I will never doubt God's love for me again.

And to my husband:  I know you've heard it a million times, but thank you for loving me enough to let me go.  I would have been an AWFUL wife if you hadn't & you would have been paying for it for the rest of your life!  (:  Love you, man.

Comments

Reggs said…
This post is a keeper! Love it, love it, love it. It's so funny how some people GO on a mission to get a testimony. So many crappy things happen on a mission that half the time you are wondering if you are doing it right! I'm glad my husband let me go, too. It has been invaluable in my life as a reservoir of spiritual assurances that the church is true, good and fulfilling. It taught me that even when you do all the right things, it doesn't necessarily guarantee you perfection in life. Plus...I got to see you in the MTC! That was awesome.
Anyway, thanks for this post. There are so many prejudices against sister missionaries. It's nice to see an RM that is smart, beautiful, witty, inspiring, and strong. It's not just for girls who "couldn't get married."
September 13, 2008 at 3:51 AM
Leslie@leserleeslovesandhobbies said…
I know exactly what you mean about pretending those things. To a point I still feel that way. Of course I didn't serve a mission to teach me otherwise. Carl has been great about helping me to overcome my spiritual issues, but I still struggle. I try to do what is right, but am I doing it because I want to, or because it is expected of me? Probably something I will struggle with for the rest of my life, but I want my children to grow up with the peace the gospel can bring.
September 13, 2008 at 8:02 AM
Anonymous said…
Beautifully written!
September 14, 2008 at 5:37 PM
C said…
As a missionary Mom, I can say from watching my own children grow from their missions, it taught them;
- to search the scriptures and dig deeper to find their answers
- the great depths of God's love and concern for them and those they served
- how to strengthen themselves in the gospel
- comforted them during their times of loss, doubt, fear or trouble
- patience
- not last in a list of items, but, their missions taught them to lean on the Lord for his strength, guidence, and protection.
My son was set apart as a full time missionary on the eve of 9/11/2001. I was impressed how the Lord was in full control of everything, including getting his missionaries out on their missions in a timely, seamless manner.
Thank you Sarah for your words of strength, humility, and love. - C
September 15, 2008 at 9:36 AM
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